Archive for category St. Stupid’s Day

FINAL ENTRY

I want to begin by thanking you all for your support, week after week. Without you I would not have made it this far. However, I have decided to cancel the blog. It was not an easy decision. The least I can do is tell you why.

1. Blogs are a bad idea.
A blog is the most narcissistic thing I can imagine. It’s like Facebook except there’s only one face (mine) and all you can do is comment, which nobody reads anyway. Why have a blog when I can just email everyone I know, tell them everything I think, and then never reply to anything they have to say.

2. Blogs are a bad idea.
Nobody reads a blog without doing three things at once. At least. When I read a blog I’m scanning for key words and become appalled every time I scroll down and see there’s more to read. Doesn’t the author know I have emails to check? I should be on Facebook reading a post that takes a half a minute tops.

3. I’ve run out of things to write about.
You should have known this was over when I wrote poetry last week. If I had to do this anymore I’d resort to sharing my to-do lists and, if you’re lucky, the reasons why I didn’t do them.

4. We all have better things to do.
I have a job, hobbies, and a beautiful physique to maintain. I imagine you have plans for summer like swimming at the beach and getting laid. Nobody can read a laptop under the sun, and the most erotic thing I’ve written was about a man having sex with a spider.

5. Writing isn’t important, anymore.
Chicago Public Schools stopped teaching kids how to read and write years ago. In the future, Google will write everything for us. And anything worth reading certainly won’t be more than 160 characters, which most blogs tend to be. I guess this is just another reason for why blogs are a bad idea.

Again, thank you for everything. Maybe I’ll send you a letter both of us actually care about.

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